Secrets of the 21 Year Duo
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Today is one of those monumental, special days in our house. Twenty-one years ago today, at the tender age of 15, I made the wisest choice of my entire life . . . I said yes to that cute new boy in school who asked me to go out. And just like that, my life was forever changed. Never would another day go by that I wouldn’t think of him. Never again would I just be Pamela . . . I would forever be part of the “Lonnie and Pamela Duo.”
In the past twenty-one years we have grown up together. We endured the drama of high school, survived two years separated by the Atlantic Ocean, we moved 8 times, feared death, celebrated life, had a baby, adopted 2 more, succeeded in business, failed in business, and dared to start all over again.
Lonnie and I are opposites in appearance and personality, yet we are the perfect pair. I’m the gas, he’s the brakes. Lonnie teases while I’m Sh*t’n Rainbows, well . . . he’s not! We work side by side every day and yes, we manage to not strangle each other. Now I would love to tell you it’s because I’m just so darn easy to get along with, but the truth is I have my moments of being overly sensitive, defensive and a tad bit on edge. Shocking I know!
What has made us the couple who could withstand the storms of life? Two things . . .
1. I married the right person. What more can I say about that?
2. Our percentage. Percentage . . . yes, that’s what I said. Now let me explain.
What is the percentage of shared responsibility in making a relationship work? 50/50, right? You do your half and I do my half. No.
Is it 51/49? I should be willing to do just a little more than the other person. No.
It is simply 100/100 . . . I must be willing to give 100%. Only when I am willing to take 100% responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. If I’m only giving 50% in our marriage and expecting him to give the other 50%, we’re both bringing less than our best to the table. Our secret is giving 100%, regardless if it’s really my turn to make the bed or take out the trash.
So there you have it. Twenty-one years after that first kiss on the pep bus, twenty-one years after my Mama said “I give it 2 weeks.” Twenty-one years and we’re still going strong. I married the right man and we’re both giving 100% . . . 50/50 just won’t cut it!
Is there a relationship in your life that could use a little 100/100?
*(by the way Mama, you were SO wrong! We did last! And yes, I did kiss on the first date - if you can call a pep bus ride a date!)
Reader Comments (1)
In the pre-marital counseling, that the pastor who was marrying my soon-to-be husband and I strongly suggested doing before our wedding in February 1994, we learned about us both giving 100/100 percent. Learning that really opened my eyes as to how our marriage should be! Out of all the things we learned during those sessions, that is the one thing that has always stuck with me and I have passed it on many times. Congratulations to the both of you for giving 100% and the beautiful relationship that has come from it! :)
~Nicole D